


They Say the Grass Gets Greener

by Pyllar_Of_Death



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad with a Hopeful Ending, Slow To Update, eventual supercorp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-20 06:02:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13711398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyllar_Of_Death/pseuds/Pyllar_Of_Death
Summary: They say the grass is greener on the other side. Well, at this moment her life is a roiling thunderstorm of emotions. That's alright though, because apparently, they say the grass gets greener.





	1. Loving, Unloved

She looked down feeling a lump of dread form in her throat as she watched the woman, who had been her confidant for the past 4 years, set down the paperwork on the desk. A silent sob threatening to burst free past her sealed lips, unshed tears gathering in her eyes.

_"This is it isn't it,"_ she thought to herself as she looked at the other woman who stood before her looking as beautiful as ever, but, donning a look of grim determination instead of the smiling face she had once sworn she would kiss forever. Those eyes, that mouth, that face of the one she loved and swore she could recall with her eyes shut now looking like that of a stranger.

Gathering the remaining courage within herself she signed the document. Feeling her strength drain away as she did so. Her heart crying out in agony as the woman she loved still, the woman who loved her no longer, picked up the papers.

She watched her walk to the door before she could no longer hold her silence.

"I love you." She called her voice coming out strong and steady despite feeling like it should come out chocked and garbled. The other stalled at the door and turned soft, sad, aged grey eyes at her a look of sad pity in her expression as she looked.

" I know, I'm sorry it came to this." With that her love turned away and opened the door pausing at the doorway without looking back she said," I did love you, and a part of me still does just, not in the way you want. Our love wasn't one made to last. You deserve love and happiness. I hope one day you find someone who can give you that and more. I'm sorry it turns out it wasn't me. Goodbye, Kara, have a good life you deserve one."

With that the woman she had made an oath to spend the rest of her life with walked out of her life. They say the grass is greener on the other side. Well, at this moment her life is a roiling thunderstorm of emotions. That's alright though, because apparently, they say the grass gets greener.


	2. Darling, when did we lose?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look at how it all began and then where Kara is at this point in life.

Everything seems darker and far away. Time feels like it should be crawling by at a snails pace and yet it doesn't, it isn't. Time is moving at the same pace it always does. The days are as bright and personal as always. It's just me that has changed. It's just me feeling like the world ended and that every second of every minute of every hour and so on is just a painful prolonging of our inevitable end. It's just me feeling like this. 

I know this pain isn't forever or everlasting and yet I feel like it is eternal. The pain in my heart feels like it will never heal. Every smile, embrace, kiss, and touch all feel like a bittersweet lie. However, it was real and I know it and that makes everything so much worse. 

_Darling, how can I go on without you?_ _Darling, when did I lose your heartbreaking smile? Darling, when did we lose the spark in our kiss? Darling, when did you lose yourself? Darling, when did I lose my best friend? Darling, when did I lose your sweet love? Darling, when did we lose?_

I can still remember how it all began like it was yesterday and not 5 years ago. I was running late for orientation while she was rushing to class. I also happened to be completely lost. I had been distracted and decided to cheat and use my X-ray vision along with my super hearing when. . . 

> _"Oh sh- ow! Fuck! Shit! Oh my god!" I stood frozen as the girl before me released several more expletives. My hands were on her shoulders having caught her from falling back after crashing into me. She took a pause taking then a breath stepping out of my reach and picking up her belongings that had spilled to the ground at our collision. She did this all without once looking up._
> 
> _"Oh Rao, I'm so sorry. I just- I'm lost and I'm late to orientation. And R- wow, I'm so sorry I didn't see you." I spoke with urged rush. Feeling truly sorry, it would not feel great walking into me when I was unaware. Alex had complained it was like walking into a brick wall multiple times when I got lost in thought and stopped walking without her noticing when she was following behind me._
> 
> _"It's alright, it wasn't your fault, it was mine. You're here for orientation you say, I'd take you but I really gotta go. Did you see the building with the obnoxiously big statue of the founder of National City, well you take a right there, go straight past the library, take a left after passing it and the orientation is being held in the blue building. You get that? Good, see you around new girl."_
> 
> _With that the striking brunette stalked away without letting me say another word. I stood there for about a minute in awed shock. Slowly beginning to gather myself in order to follow the woman's directions._
> 
> _"Oh Rao," I mumbled to myself quietly as I began to walk away._

How was I to know that would be the beginning of the end of me? How was I to know I had just met the woman that would capture my affections? How was I to know she would leave my life as explosively as she had entered it?

* * *

 

The blonde heroine, as she was recently dubbed, hovered in the night sky watching over the city she called home. Wondering how her life had taken the turn it had. Wondering if she would ever get a happy ending. Wondering if she deserved one. Wondering if she was worthy.

Off in the distance she heard sirens that cut through her melancholy thoughts. She sighed tired blue eyes taking a sweep of the city as she searched for the disturbance.

"Up up and away, Supergirl," she mumbled quietly to herself. Deciding to bury her earlier thoughts with the distractions of her duty.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the different variations of point of views I have a weird and annoying habit of doing that. Kara is going to be sad for a while, sorry. She'll feel better, eventually. I don't know when I'll introduce Lena so bear with me, please.


	3. Ghosts of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara struggling as she is haunted by the memories of her ex.

 

 The super landed in the dark apartment. A sigh passing her lips as she flicked on the lights. Her eyes scanning the space taking note of the empty spaces once filled by another. A lump forming in her throat, eyes glistening she shook her head taking a deep breath.

Her shoulders set as she mechanically went about changing into her comfort clothes, a T-shirt and a pair of sweats. She entered her kitchenette searching for sustenance. Deciding on cold left over pizza and ice-cream she entered the living space switching on the TV. The TV was on some news channel on it was Supergirl's latest act of heroism. She was only able to stomach a few bites, she hadn't felt hungry lately.

Her attention was diverted from the television to her side. There staring back at her, seeming mocking in her current state, was a photo of a smiling grey eyed woman. Echos of laughter, whispered 'I love you's', ghost touches, and sweet kisses bombarded her.

Breath catching she quickly flipped the frame over. Her breath came in strangled gasps a sharp acute pain shooting through her heart. Her hand clutched her chest a whimper passing her lips as tears started to stream freely.

Her handle on her powers faltered. Her eyes burned causing her squeeze them shut tightly. Her grip on her shirt causing it to tear. Her breath coming out in icy puffs. Her hearing overwhelming her with the sounds of life going on around her. Everything  _hurt,_ everything was  _too much._

She caught the sound of a familiar heartbeat and she latched onto it. She forced herself to focus on the steady breathing and heartbeat. Eventually the burn in her eyes faded, her grip relaxed, her hearing focused, her breathing steadied. Her hearing tuning in she heard the person give a small curse, a tired smile twitched on her lips, Alex. She could hear her sister complain about having just stubbed her toe as she went about settling in for bed.

She slowly tuned out once she heard her breathing and heartbeat slow, her attention returning to her apartment. She let out a sigh at the turn garment hanging on to her frame still. She changed giving a forlorn sigh at the sight of the melted ice-cream. She threw it out, and switched the lights off, curling into the couch a thick blanket in casing her. Her attention on the television which now was now showing an old program.

Her eyes grew heavier no matter how much she resisted. No matter how much she fought it, however, each blink seemed to stretch an eternity. Eventually her breathing slowed as sleep caught. Her last thought before doing so was a plead for a dreamless rest. She wasn't afforded that respite.

* * *

 

I close my eyes and I swear I hear your voice. I see your face in the corners of my eyes. The scent of you is still caught in my clothes. I still feel your touch in my dreams. I'm haunted by the ghost of you. 

I'm haunted by the possibilities. I'm haunted by the probabilities. I'm haunted by our impossibilities. I'm haunted by our improbabilities.

I'm haunted by your love. I'm haunted by your coldness. I'm haunted by your smile. I'm haunted by your frown. I'm haunted by your laugh. I'm haunted by your tears. I'm haunted by your affection. I'm haunted by your distance. 

I'm haunted by the ghosts of you.


	4. Hold Onto Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to "The Scientist" by Coldplay, "Unsteady" by X Ambassador, and "Where Do I Even Start" by Morgan Taylor Reid when I wrote this chapter.

Alex was worried. It was obvious in the way she couldn't stay still. Her eyes anxiously shifting about. Her hands fiddling with the the sleeves of her jacket.

Kara was late. While a year ago that wouldn't be a big deal the past year had changed the definition of normal. A year ago Kara wasn't Supergirl. A year ago Kara hadn't known her aunt was alive, and subsequently had her world turned on its head, again. A year ago Kara was still blissfully in love, married to the woman she loved. A year ago Kara hadn't just recently gone through a divorce.

Alex cursed the day that  _woman_ came into Kara's life. She still remembered how excited Kara had been when she talked about  _her._ She had heard about  _her_ 2 months after their first meeting. She remembered how her little sister had absolutely gushed about her new  _friend._

 

 

> _"She's so nice, Alex you'd like her. She has the prettiest smile. She's so smart, she studying to be a lawyer. Her eyes. . . Oh Rao, their so pretty." Kara swooned. Alex hummed for what seemed like the millionth time. All of Kara seemed able to speak about was how_ amazing  _and_ beautiful  _her new_ friend  _was._
> 
> _"Yeah, she seems pretty great,"  Alex quickly said when her sister took a pause to breathe in. A smirk playing at her lips. '_ So Kara's kink for strong intelligent women is going strong'  _Alex silently laughed to herself, remembering Kara's girl crush on her math teacher._
> 
> _Alex swore she could see Kara's heart eyes even though she was nowhere near her little sister. Speaking of being nowhere near her sister, her lunch break was ending which meant she'd needed to get back to training. She sighed regretfully._
> 
> _"You have to go don't you, you're always busy now. I feel like we never get to talk." Kara said a pout obvious in her voice. The disappointment coloring her voice misting her eyes slightly._
> 
> _She bit her tongue to keep from saying '_ I'm sorry Kara, but I'm doing this for you. I'll always protect you. I'll keep you safe.'  _Instead she said,"Well getting this PhD takes hard work and time, unfortunately, maybe I can find some time and come visit. You could even introduce me to girl crush. Anyways, I gotta go love you, bye."_
> 
> _She paused for a second to hear Kara's response. She wasn't dissapointed. "Really! That would be fantastic! You could meet gir- WAIT! ALEX!" She laughed as she hung up on Kara's spluttering reaction._

 If only she'd known then what she knew now. Maybe she could have protected Kara from a pain she had never anticipated having to protect her from, her own heart. Maybe things could have been different. Or maybe it didn't matter anymore what happened, happened there was no changing that. Even if she still wished she could have saved Kara from that heartbreak.

Guilt, regret, and anger filled her when she thought about that  _woman._ Guilt, maybe if she hadn't confronted  _her_. Regret, maybe she should have just told Kara and let her deal with it instead of intervening. Anger, no it wouldn't have mattered she had made her decision by then she'd seen it in  _her_ eyes.

She took a slow breath, clenching her hands into fists. Shaking her head free of her previous thoughts. That wasn't the problem she needed to focus on. Jaw clenched she started to slowly pace, back and forth she went. How was she going to tell Kara ab- She stopped when she heard a faint thud, foretelling her of Kara's arrival before she could even speak.

 "You're late." Were the first words to pass her lips before she could stop them. She shut her eyes in regret at the accusatory tone. She turned to face her barely stifling a gasp.

Although she looked no worse for wear, her eyes, her eyes told a different story. Blues once filled with so much life and hope, now looked like dull and murky waters, pain and weariness inscribed on her face. At her reaction, however, Kara's eyes turned to flint and her face stony.

"I'm here now." Kara pointedly said, an eyebrow raised. Alex hid a wince of regret.

"Right. Well, it's Astra," she paused. Kara looked at her to continue. She tried to find a way to delicately say it.

"What about her?" Kara asked when she still had not spoken.

"Not here." She stalled glancing around to the agents milling around. Kara sighed but followed her. They went past several rooms and down several halls before Alex paused outside a door. Glancing at Kara she hesitantly opened it using her key card.

The room was dark, bar for the light coming from a set up similar to Kara's sun lamp bed. The difference being a heart monitor and Electroencephalogram (EEG) which monitored activity which were connected to the strapped down individual laying in it.

Kara gasped before approaching the slumbering figure. Alex watched as she hesitantly kneeled while slipping her hand into that of the comatose Kryptonian. Kara watched Astra for a moment before turning to Alex.

"What's wrong with her." Kara said evenly there was no question or doubt in her voice, like she had accepted the world would not spare her any punches.

"She's in a coma. We were able to restart her heart and stop the bleeding but, Kara she was dead for quite a while. If she had been human she wouldn't have made it this far. Given your Kryptonian DNA and how your cells regenerate in sunlight, we think tha-" Alex rambled having decided to just have at it when Kara interrupted.

"Stop. I already know all that. Tell me what's wrong, Alex." Kara's face was beseeching her voice full of pleading resignation.

"Given the fact that she was stabbed with Kryptonite, which you know attacks your cells at almost the same speed you regenerate them, we aren't sure if she'll ever wake up. For now it's just wait and see." Alex said watching as Kara's face blanked of emotion.

"Right. Of course, if that's all." Kara said nodding, kissing Astra's hand before standing and heading to the door. Her steps were stilted and strained. Her hands clenched at her sides.

"Kara, wait. Stop." Alex said stepping towards her sister who had frozen facing the door, her head bowed forward hidden from sight by her blond locks. Alex didn't think she'd ever seen Kara look smaller in her supersuit.

She placed a hand on her shoulder. Kara didn't seem to react, it wasn't until she pressed closer that she felt Kara tremble. It was then that Kara broke, acting quickly Alex embraced her sobbing sister as they sank to the ground. Tears swelled up in her own eyes feeling how broken Kara's slumped figure felt against her. 

"It hurts, Alex, it hurts so much." Kara looked at Alex, her face drenched in tears, before continuing,"Everything is hard. I don't know where to even start. Everything seems to be done to make me unsteady. I just want to go back to before everything seemed to be meant to cause me pain. Everything is falling apart faster than I can pick up the pieces, and I can't-" Kara's eyes, filled with tears, bore into her own a look of despair in them as she shook in her arms.

"What do I do?" She croaked her own tears blurring her vision.

"Just hold onto me, don't let go. Please, don't let go" Kara gasped out. Alex acquisited, and the two sisters held each other in this moment of grief that had been building up for quite awhile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I didn't intend to cause Kara so much grief and pain. I just started writing and this is what was spawned.


	5. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reminiscing and moving forward. A surprise ending to the evening.

She was always so confident in herself. So sure about what she was doing. Always so at ease with herself in any given situation. That's one of the things that had originally attracted me to her.

Where I was shy and unsure, she was strong and steady. Where I was doubtful and hesitant, she was confident and bold. Where I was afraid, she was brave. Where I was conflicted, she had already made her decision. I had admired that greatly, I appreciated her brash confidence. At least, at first that's what I told my self it was. I  _appreciated_ how decisive she was, I  _admired_ how sure she was.

She was the one who took the dive when I was too afraid to do so. I remember how up until the moment she kissed me I had dismissed my affections for her as  _friendliness._  

 

 

> _"Dinner was great, I had a loads of fun, the movie was great. Thanks for asking me to come out with you tonight. I'm really glad we're friends." I spoke as we walked back towards the dorms. It was late and the streetlights were lit, the sun was hanging low in the horizon. There were several other people milling about the campus heading out to enjoy the start of the weekend. We had just had dinner and watched a film, afterwards we had taken a small stroll before heading to the dorm rooms._
> 
> _"You're very welcome, Kara. I'm glad to have met you." She replied flashing a mischievous grin in my direction, bumping shoulders with me lightly. Warmth filled me at the action, hesitantly I slipped my hand into hers, she just smiled cutely at me._ _We were holding hands and for some odd reason my heart was beating really fast._
> 
> _We finally reached the door to the her dorm. We both stopped then just outside the entrance. We would have to part ways there, my dorm was across the ways from hers._
> 
> _"I had a great time." I repeated myself, feeling the need to say something. I ducked my head down in mild embarrassment. My right hand reached up to adjust my glasses as I looked up at her through my eyelashes._
> 
> _She tilted her head as she gazed at me, an oddly intense look in her eyes. I straightened up at her look, feeling flustered. Something in her eyes softened and she tugged me closer by my hand, the one still intertwined with hers. My heart fluttered nervously in my chest._
> 
> _"Close your eyes." She whispered. For some reason, a reason lost to me at the moment, I obeyed._
> 
> _My already enhanced senses heightened even further, tuning themselves onto her. In a second that seemed to expand for an eternity I became aware of many things at once. I could hear the rustle of her clothes as she shifted closer still. I could feel her breath, smelling of the chocolate desert she'd had, brush across my face. I could hear the fast beating of her heart as it curiously pounded in her rib cage. I felt her hand reach up and gently pull my face closer to her own._
> 
> _Time came crashing down then. The reason was simple and yet it felt life altering. The reason, her lips were softly touching mine. I gasped freezing at the contact. My eyes burst open in my surprise. Just as instantly as they'd opened, however, they fluttered back shut, as I unfroze and returned her lips gentle caress. Fireworks went off behind my shut eyes and my heart just about burst open my rib cage with how quickly it started beating._
> 
> _"Oh Rao, what was that for?" I stammered, after she had pulled away slowly. Heat rushed to my cheeks, my lips buzzing from her gentle kiss. She just smiled in response, her eyes sparkling in the low light. Her hand on my cheek brushing back a blonde lock of my hair._
> 
> _"I've just wanted to do that ever since we ran into each other again, and you approached me and asked to be my friend. I am in complete awe of you. As we have been getting to know each other these past few weeks you have reinforced the belief I've held of you since you approached me.That belief being  that you, Kara Danvers, are so very special and unlike anyone I've ever met. Kara Danvers, will you give me the privilege of being my girlfriend?" She asked after opening my eyes to what had been going on right in front of me._
> 
> _At first I gaped at her, my thoughts racing. Something seemed to have settled inside me as I gazed into her eyes, at the confident assurance held in them. Without a second thought I leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on her lips._

I sighed softly at the memory, a small smile playing on my lips as I gazed out my apartment window. The memory hurt but in a good way. It had reminded me that life didn't always go the way you expected, that it was up to you to decide how to deal with how it went. I decided there and then that I would learn from my trials and strive to be stronger, to prepare the best I can, for whatever came next. A sort of peace flooded through me then. A peace I hadn't been privy of for the past 3 months since before the divorce, aunt Astra, and the Myriad. Now for the most part everything was settled and dealt with my divorce was finalized, the Myriad was no longer a threat, and whatever happened with Astra would be handled.

"Kara?" A hesitant voice called pulling my attention to my living space and to the people occupying it. My eyes fell on the speaker, Winn, and I smiled at him and everyone else. I saw surprise and cautious delight light up their features as they glanced at each other before they returned my smile.

"Are you alright?" Alex asked as I walked toward them. I moved to her side, as they all adjusted to make room, bumping her shoulder with my own lightly. 

"Yeah, I am. I think, I'm going to be fine." I said softly, as I leant on her, resting my head on her shoulder, she laid her head in my own. Lucy smiled at me from beside James who lightly bumped his fist to my shoulder, while J'onn nodded, and Winn did a little jig.

"I propose a toast then." James said raising his beer bottle. I grabbed my bottle from the table and raised it to his, as did the others. I grinned at the people around me who had come to mean so much to me in such a short amount of time.

* * *

 

As the group of friends,who had come to see each other as family, toasted to the new year an unidentified foreign object came hurtling towards National City from deep space. The object burst through the atmosphere at a speed that broke the sound barrier, creating a sonic boom. The blast wave washed over the National City causing the lights to flicker and the Earth to shake as it approached ever closer at seemingly unstoppable speed.

The group burst into action. All but two, a woman and man, from the group rushing out to their vehicles. The two who remained transformed one more literally than the other. The woman became a blur and in her place stood the blonde heroine, Supergirl. The man for his part melted into a tall green skinned alien, the Martian Manhunter.

The two flew toward the hurtling object. As they neared it the speed of the object started to mysteriously slow. Supergirl seemed to gasp in recognition as the object slowed enough to reveal itself to be a spacecraft. Although having slowed down significantly the ship was still heading at worrying speed towards the city.

Supergirl along with the Martian Manhunter worked together using their combined abilities to stabilize the ship and fix its coarse pointing it away from the heart of the city. They landed in an isolated area and DEO agents that had been tracking them from the ground joined them. They agents approached the ship cautiously their hands on their weapons, to be ready at a moment's notice.

Supergirl, paying no head to the Martian Manhunter or the agents, swiftly moved to the ship. Without any hesitation or doubt she pulled open the ship. Turning to the interior she gasped at what lay inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a method to my madness, a method I myself am unraveling as I move this story onwards and forward. Please leave any thoughts or questions below.


	6. Shock and Disbelief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help myself.

Supergirl stood stock still, arms crossed, staring at the limp figure on the bed through the glass wall. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. She couldn't fathom how any of this was happening. She was at the DEO, which wasn't all that shocking to her, what it did is irk her. She was in the DEO, the one located in National City; one of many around the globe, and not the one in the middle of the nowhere because, apparently, that was a thing. However, that wasn't what was holding her in her current state of shocked disbelief, it was the slumbering figure located on the bed.

"This can't be real." She murmured to herself. Without thought she entered the room and approached the bed. Slowly, cautiously, one of her hands reached out. She made contact and tears welled up in her eyes. She could feel the warmth, the rise and fall of breaths, the slow and tranquil beating of a heart, the soft feel of fur.

"Krypto"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick and short.

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I thought I'd try after listening to sad music. Debating if I should make it powers or no powers and how that would work. First fic decided to do Supercorp because why not.


End file.
